Wailing, Lamentation, Weeping

"A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more." -Matthew 2:18

Every night, when I tuck my five year old into bed, she wraps her arms around my neck and gives me kisses. Every night, she doesn't want to let go, and I have to pull away, as it's really a bit of a stall tactic. Tonight, I held on to her as long as I could. She has no idea about what happened today in Connecticut. So I didn't hold onto her for her benefit, it was totally for me. 

Tonight, I didn't care that my 7-month-old spit up on my clothes, I just watched him chew on his Taggies toy that was also drenched in spit-up and drool, and loved watching him figure out how to move his hands around. 

I read an annoying princess book to my three-year-old, hardly paying attention to the words, as I wondered about what stories will help her handle such terrible events when she grows up. 

And as I came downstairs to my wife, a school psychologist in an elementary school, I could not help but be overwhelmed for Newtown, CT; for the parents who will never again get to read to their son or daughter, never again feel those arms around their neck or those slobbery kisses on their cheek. I could not but think of the families of Sandy Hook's school psychologist, the principal, and the other adults who dedicated their lives to building children into healthy young people, and who are no longer with us.

I am sick over this. Utterly sick. And furious. 

If anyone thinks for one second that I give a damn about someone's hobby, or that the second amendment is more important to this country than the sweet children who were lambs to the slaughter this morning, you are sorely mistaken. 

To the National Rifle Association and your cronies - you are a demonic force in our society. 

If you care more about your passtime than the precious lives of our children, you are sick. If you think this is some kind of protection against an out-of-control government, you are paranoid and delusional. 

If you start to tell me that people kill people, not guns, look into the faces of the parents who lost their babies today and tell them that. If you want to tell me it's too early to talk about gun control in the wake of this shooting, you could not be more wrong. For the students, staff, and families of Sandy Hook, it literally cannot be soon enough.

When I look into the eyes of my kindergartener, and I think about what might happen if someone walked into her classroom with one of these weapons, I am completely terrified. If we cannot have an honest, frank, sincere conversation in this country about sensible protections for the sake of our children, then we do not deserve the freedoms our Constitution provides. 

10 Arguments I'm Tired of Having

I'm getting increasingly tired of people claiming to be Christian, and at the same time, claiming that ignorance, discrimination, sexism, hatred, and intolerance are an inherent part of their religion. This is not the Christianity that I believe, nor is it consistent with my reading of Jesus. 

So here are 10 arguments I'm tired of having - in no particular order. 

1. Neither women's capacity to reproduce, nor their right to autonomy over that capacity, are a threat to Christianity.

2. Jesus told us to welcome strangers, not ask for their papers.

3. Jesus told us to feed the hungry and clothe the naked. He did not ask for a drug test first to see if they deserved it. 

4. Jesus healed people. He didn't ask for an insurance card, and he sure as hell didn't say "let 'em die" if they couldn't pay for the care.

5. No one has a divine right to own a gun. I'm pretty sure killing is not cool within Christianity.

6. What would Jesus do? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't claim that any kind of discrimination in his name is an exercise of religious freedom. 

7. Religion and science are not in competition. Knowledge blesses God. Neither science, nor history, nor geology, nor climatology, nor evolution, nor any other kind of scholarship are threatening to God or to Christianity. (If you're the kind of Christian who is threatened by these things, then blame your own lack of imagination, not Christianity.)

8. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, and queer folks are made in God's image. God loves them. And if Jesus were around in June, I'm pretty sure he'd be marching in pride parades. 

9. I'm a Christian and I think free contraception is a good idea. Might even save lives. Pretty sure there's nothing about Christianity that is in conflict with contraception.

10. The only thing that can be interpreted from the Bible about marriage is that the definition of marriage has evolved over time. No reason why it can't continue to evolve.

US Catholic Bishops Wrong on "Fortnight for Freedom"

I have a deep and abiding respect for the rich tradition and faith of my Roman Catholic sisters and brothers. I also hold a degree from a Jesuit institution. But the current project of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, the so-called “Fortnight for Freedom”, is just plain hypocrisy. 

The genesis of this project is the Health and Human Services Administration’s policy, ensuring free contraception for women from their health insurance providers. The Roman Catholic Church’s position on contraception is not new. But in the United States, a few religious authorities do not have any right to assume authority over citizens who do not share their confessional faith. Thus, the White House and HHS are actually defending religious freedom by protecting those workers who do not agree with Catholic doctrine, even if they're employed by a Catholic institution. 

I understand the opposition to contraception. However, an employee of a Catholic hospital or school should not have fewer rights than others simply because of their employer. A Jewish nurse or Protestant English teacher should be able to access birth control for free, as the same employee might at another workplace. And the Church has no right to prevent her from doing so, nor do they have a right to expect the State to enforce their objection.

In conversations about this topic, the problem tends to come from the money. Folks don’t want to have to pay for something they don’t support. I understand this. But first, it’s neither taxpayer money, nor institutional money being used, it’s the insurance company paying for it. Second, if money spent against one's wishes is problematic, where is the bishops' outrage in Catholics having to pay taxes that pay for wars? Taxes that pay to execute prisoners? Taxes that escalate violence and inhibit peace and justice? 

My hope and prayer is that the US Conference of Catholic Bishops can open their eyes to the many injustices around us - hunger, poverty, mass-incarceration, continuing inequality for people of color, for women, for immigrants, and for many other minorities. Jesus was a lot more concerned about these issues than he was about birth control.

Trayvon Martin: We've Got Work To Do

Over the past several days, I have been deeply touched by the death of 17 year old Trayvon Martin outside Orlando, Florida. I wasn’t there. I don’t know exactly what happened. I do know that the shooter, George Zimmerman, was told by the 911 operator not to follow Trayvon, but Zimmerman followed him anyway, and Trayvon ended up dead.  

President Obama reminded the nation last week that if he had a son, he would look like Trayvon. This touches me deeply, both as a father, and as an American. I know there may be differences of opinion about politics, but no American can deny the magnitude of that statement. For a very long time in this country, the stereotypes of young people of color, particularly African American boys, have been overwhelmingly negative. Now, with the presence of an African American President, a snap judgment about a teenager in a hoodie being up to no good, could be a judgment against our First Family. 

Again, I wasn’t there. And I’m not in Zimmerman’s head. I don’t know how he concluded what he concluded about Trayvon Martin. Was it because Martin was black? I suspect so, but I don’t know for sure. Was it because he was a teenager wearing a hoodie? I don’t know. I do know that Martin isn’t the first one to be baselessly suspected of ill intent, and Zimmerman isn’t the first to get angry over nothing, angry to the point of violence. 

We have a lot in our society to unpack - assumptions about teenagers, assumptions about people wearing a hoodie, and assumptions about race. I strongly believe that we Christians are called to think twice about our assumptions based on surface details. We are called to see beyond our own anxieties and prejudices, to see the human being, the one created in God’s image, that lies on the other side of our own snap judgments. We all feel anxiety from time to time, but if we fail to acknowledge the person of the other, about whom we are anxious, and if we fail to be critical about our anxiety and whether or not it is justified, we may well end up taking the life, or at least denying the humanity of one of God’s beautiful children. 

Playing Catch

I played a game once with a young men’s group when I was in Northern Ireland. There were about a dozen of us, and as we stood in a circle, we tossed a small rubber ball around, across the circle, making sure that each of us had a turn.  Once we established the order in which the ball made it to every person, we repeated the pattern, increasing our speed, until we were comfortable with it. We always received the ball from the same person, and we always threw it to the same person. This helped us establish some non-verbal communication between each other, such as eye contact or reading each other’s movements, which helped us get better at both catching the ball, and making sure it was safe to throw. 

The game increased in intensity, as more and more balls were added to the mix, including differently shaped balls. Then, in an apparently sadistic act, the leader collected the balls, and got out a dozen raw eggs. One at a time, the eggs were thrown, very slowly at first, in the same pattern. They criss-crossed our circle, landing in our carefully cupped hands, being gently tossed as if willed through the air in as cautious an arc as possible. Over a few minutes, our confidence increased, and so did the speed of the game. As we got better and more comfortable with it, we added more eggs. Yes, we did lose one or two, but for the most part, we did pretty well.

I’ve repeated this game with a number of groups since then. I’ve learned some things, such as the fact that raw eggs don’t get along well with wedding rings. I’ve also come to see this game as a really great illustration of how life comes to us. (Except for the part that we always receive from the same person, and give to the same person. That’s not always the case.) But insofar as I have zero control over what comes at me, or how it comes at me, or the speed at which it comes to me, this game perfectly illustrates that this is essentially how we experience life. The ball (or egg) might be thrown high and slow, or fast and straight. All I can do is prepare as best I can, keep my eyes on the ball (egg), cup my hands, and hope to catch it. 

On the other hand, I have complete control over what I pass on to others. If I received the ball fast, I can pass it on slowly. Or if I received the ball from someone with a wicked slider, I can pass along a gentle underhand. If I receive someone’s anger, or frustration, or suffering, I can choose not to pass that along to someone else. The interactions that I have with people are just like this game, in that I can separate my individual response from what is being thrown toward me.

The grace is in God’s ability to help us with the courage, patience, and peace that we need to pass the ball to others with kindness, regardless of how we ourselves received it.

Marshmallows, Bagels and Brownies

I just read an article about a man who loved the marshmallows in Lucky Charms so much, that he bought 1,000 pounds of just the marshmallows, a semi-truck load, so that he wouldn’t have to fish for them in a conventional box of the breakfast cereal.

In the same article, two women collaborated to invent a tool that would scoop out the inside of a bagel. One of them had worked at a bagel shop in high school, and had burned her fingers several times, scooping out the innards of toasted bagels for folks who wanted to save a few calories.

Then there’s the guy who invented the brownie pan that ensures every brownie has some crusty edge on it. He’s already been approached by fans who want him to design other such items, like a pizza pan shaped like a doughnut to maximize crust.

Seriously? 

No offense to these people, who I’m sure are kind-hearted, generous, and are beloved children of God, but my goodness. At what point did they receive a promise that everything around them would be perfect? Who made that promise to them? 

In life, where most of the rest of the world lives, the sweet crunchy marshmallows are a treat, not the norm. If you want a bagel, you eat a bagel. If you want just the skin, try a bag of chips. And in every brownie pan, a little gooeyness must lie. 

Thank God that Jesus didn’t begin his ministry on earth, look around and see how messed up we all were, then said, “Pops, this ain’t going to work. Let’s just pack it in and try another planet.” No, we were created as imperfect. We were made from the dirty and flawed dust of the earth, and God loved us anyway. God then came to us in Jesus, and told us about love, forgiveness, humility, and grace. Christ showed us that in spite of our lack of sweetness, our bagely fullness, or our gooey centers - we are redeemable and we are worthy of God’s love. 

So if you’re tempted to buy sandwiches with the offensive crust already removed, think about your own crustiness for a moment. Then say a little prayer of gratitude to God who loves you anyway.