I played a game once with a young men’s group when I was in Northern Ireland. There were about a dozen of us, and as we stood in a circle, we tossed a small rubber ball around, across the circle, making sure that each of us had a turn. Once we established the order in which the ball made it to every person, we repeated the pattern, increasing our speed, until we were comfortable with it. We always received the ball from the same person, and we always threw it to the same person. This helped us establish some non-verbal communication between each other, such as eye contact or reading each other’s movements, which helped us get better at both catching the ball, and making sure it was safe to throw.
The game increased in intensity, as more and more balls were added to the mix, including differently shaped balls. Then, in an apparently sadistic act, the leader collected the balls, and got out a dozen raw eggs. One at a time, the eggs were thrown, very slowly at first, in the same pattern. They criss-crossed our circle, landing in our carefully cupped hands, being gently tossed as if willed through the air in as cautious an arc as possible. Over a few minutes, our confidence increased, and so did the speed of the game. As we got better and more comfortable with it, we added more eggs. Yes, we did lose one or two, but for the most part, we did pretty well.
I’ve repeated this game with a number of groups since then. I’ve learned some things, such as the fact that raw eggs don’t get along well with wedding rings. I’ve also come to see this game as a really great illustration of how life comes to us. (Except for the part that we always receive from the same person, and give to the same person. That’s not always the case.) But insofar as I have zero control over what comes at me, or how it comes at me, or the speed at which it comes to me, this game perfectly illustrates that this is essentially how we experience life. The ball (or egg) might be thrown high and slow, or fast and straight. All I can do is prepare as best I can, keep my eyes on the ball (egg), cup my hands, and hope to catch it.
On the other hand, I have complete control over what I pass on to others. If I received the ball fast, I can pass it on slowly. Or if I received the ball from someone with a wicked slider, I can pass along a gentle underhand. If I receive someone’s anger, or frustration, or suffering, I can choose not to pass that along to someone else. The interactions that I have with people are just like this game, in that I can separate my individual response from what is being thrown toward me.
The grace is in God’s ability to help us with the courage, patience, and peace that we need to pass the ball to others with kindness, regardless of how we ourselves received it.
