A young man recently tried to explode a bomb at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony in Portland, OR. North and South Korea seem to be at very high tension. Violence continues in Afghanistan and Iraq. Israelis and Palestinians seem as far from peace as ever. And now we enter the season of Advent, which is when we’re supposed to talk about peace and love, but end up having arguments about decorations, hear complaints about keeping “Christ” in “Christmas”, fight each other in shopping malls and dread the inevitable family tensions that seem as ubiquitous as Santa Claus himself.
So, where’s the peace?
I don’t have a quick and easy answer, unfortunately. Peace is hard. It takes work. It takes patience. It takes a tenacious commitment on the part of all parties to love and respect one another in spite of the differences that are present. Peace is not mere tolerance (although tolerance is a start), but it can only really take root when we see each other as fully human, and respect each other’s vulnerability enough to not take advantage of it.
Peace also takes an acknowledgment and confession of the wrong we have done. If I cannot admit how I have hurt another, how can I expect them to be at peace with me?
Frequently, there’s also an imbalance of power in a conflicted relationship - whether between co-workers, couples or combatants. Whichever party has less power (political, economic, physical, etc.) needs an assurance of safety and self-determination in order for peace to be realized.
And all of this is needed in spite of the reality that conflict is inevitable. Peace is not a destination, it is a commitment. When conflict arises, if committed to peace, we will interact with each other in an honest and mutually respectful way in order to find a mutually agreeable solution.
Okay this seems hard. How are we supposed to do this with any measurable impact?
It seems to me that the only answer to this is, “one step at a time.” It starts with our relationships between each other - between spouses or partners, co-workers and neighbors. Our children are watching how we deal with conflict with one another. Rather than avoiding it or escalating it, we could try communicating with each other, working through it together. Our kids will see this and learn from it.
And peace just may become a little more possible.
